Rewind Page 6

  "No, I'm not going to tickle your feet. Erica is."

  I started squealing even before Erica finished scrambling to my feet and dug her fingers in. I immediately tried to buck Janice off my legs, but she simply settled in further, and my efforts were ineffective.

  There was a world of difference between how Janice had been tickling my feet and how Erica was doing it. Janice had run her fingernails over the bottoms of my feet, not softly, which might have felt nice, but not painfully hard, either. She had used her nails to explore the entire bottoms of my feet and toes. It had tickled immensely, but there was something sensuous about it at the same time.

  Erica, however, dug her fingers into the meaty part of my feet and pressed her nails painfully into my skin. It tickled but it hurt at the same time.

  I squealed and tried to say "ouch" a bunch of times. In movies it always seems like gagging someone means they can barely make a sound. In reality, that's not how it is at all. I was making quite a lot of noise, but it was muffled. Someone passing through the corridor outside the room might hear me, but the sounds wouldn't have been obvious as a cry for help. Inside it was a different story.

  Janice looked at me apologetically. She let Erica continue to abuse my feet, but not for anywhere near as long as Janice herself had tickled them.

  "Erica, you better stop," she said eventually. "We don't want her to wet herself."

  "Ewww," Erica said, sitting back. She was flushed and looked pleased with herself. "I guess we'd better let her catch her breath." She pulled away but stayed closer to me than she had been previously. I knew she was waiting for a chance to torment me further.

  Janice grabbed the red polish for my fourth toes. "Almost done," she said as she capped the bottle. Janice looked at me again, then put on a more mischievous smile than I'd seen yet. She crawled up to me until our faces were just a few inches part. "I'm going to do something a little different now," she said. "And if you try to pull away, even a little tiny bit, I'm going to..."

  She leaned over me and whispered very quietly into my ear, "If you pull away, I'm going to let Erica do whatever she wants to your feet."

  She leaned back so she was staring into my eyes again. I whimpered a little. Then she slowly crawled backwards slightly before standing up and going to her dresser again. She came back with her makeup brushes. She sat down on the floor at my feet, caught my eyes for a moment, smiled, then clasping my heels with her left hand, she started gently brushing my feet with one of the brushes, stroking the bottoms, the sides, the tops.

  It felt nice, sensual. Sometimes it tickled a little, but it was a nice tickle. I could feel the nerve endings in my feet waking up. When Janice used the brush between my toes, it really tickled. I squirmed in Kelly's arms, but I didn't pull my feet away. I watched Janice for a while, but then just surrendered to what she was doing. I closed my eyes.

  I could feel Kelly's arms around me, feel her heat against my back.

  I could feel my own heart beating, and my breathing was shallow and rapid.

  I felt Janice's warm hand on my feet and the hairs of the brush gently caressing my skin.

  Then Janice shifted slightly, but continued to hold my heels while brushing my feet. I felt her breath against my feet as she blew on my toes to dry the polish.

  I continued to squirm in Kelly's arms, whimpering a little.

  "They're dry now," Janice said eventually. She stopped brushing my feet. When I opened my eyes she was looking at me. I hadn't wanted her to stop. "One more pair of toes. The smallest toes. They'll be black. A rather naughty color." She cocked her head, looking at me. "Sometimes it's the small things that are surprisingly the naughtiest."

  She moved towards my left then held the polish bottle out to Erica. "Would you do the final honors, Erica?"

  Erica grinned, moved to my feet, and began applying the polish. It just took a couple of strokes per toe, and Erica didn't spend any extra effort the way Janice had on the other toes. She handed the bottle to Janice, and Janice stood up and placed all the bottles back on her dresser.

  "Do I get to tickle her again?" Erica asked excitedly.

  "Yes," said Janice, "But I think we should make it a special challenge for both of you."

  Betrayed! I gave Janice The Look. I'd behaved when she'd used the brushes on my feet, but she was still going to let Erica torment my feet.

  Janice stepped back to me and then lowered herself so she was sitting on my knees facing me.

  "Erica, what I want you to do is see how gently you can tickle her feet. Really make her squirm, but be as soft and gentle as you can. Make sure you vary what you do to find out what's most ticklish."

  I felt Erica being to touch my feet. At first she barely touched them, and it just felt nice. But she ran a finger up the bottom of one foot from heel to toes and I jumped. Erica giggled.

  At that point, Janice picked up one of her cosmetic brushes and began brushing the exposed skin of my neck and face.

  "It's easy to make someone squirm when you are rough with her," Janice said while brushing my face. "But it's far more fun to make her squirm when you're being gentle." She brushed across my eyes, forcing me to close them. Then she brushed an ear, and I opened my eyes. Janice promptly rapped the top of my head with the handle of her brush.

  "Ouch!" I said through the gag.

  In response, Janice brushed my eyes again, and I closed them.

  She brushed my hand, and I opened my eyes.

  She was waiting for me and rapped the top of my head again. Then she brushed my eyes. I closed them and kept them closed.

  In the meantime, Erica had figured out how to make me squirm without hurting me. I was wriggling my feet trying to escape her attention, but between Kelly holding me and Janice sitting on my legs, I wasn't going anywhere.

  Then Janice unbuttoned the top button of my blouse, and my eyes flew open. She waved her finger back and forth in front of me in a No gesture, but she didn't rap me with the brush handle. She cocked her head for a moment, eyeing me, then held up two fingers for a moment before unbuttoning a second button.

  "It's just two buttons," Kelly whispered into my ear. "Your modesty is intact."

  With two buttons undone, I knew my cleavage was just barely peeking out of the top of the blouse. Kelly was right. Janice went back to brushing me again, paying slow attention to the small amount of extra skin she had exposed. She let me watch her, but then brushed my eyes again. I closed them and didn't open them again.

  Erica continued to tickle my feet. Every time she got an especially violent squirm or jerk, she giggled. Janice gently brushed my skin, which felt wonderful. I didn't protest when the brush slipped down between my breasts for a moment, but then Janice withdrew it and used it to tickle my ear. When I tried to pull away, she held me by my hair and giggled at me, tickling my ear with the brush.

  Eventually I think I just gave up all resistance and just melted into what they were doing. Janice's brush varied in what it was doing, lightly caressing my face, tickling my lips, or exploring briefly inside my blouse. Erica's hands got lighter and lighter on my feet, and I'd be squirming for some time, but even the squirming settled down.

  "She's not squirming anymore," Erica complained.

  Kelly whispered into my ear, "It feels good to surrender, doesn't it?"

  Janice kept brushing me with her brush for a while longer, but Erica got bored. She tried digging her nails into my feet a few times, but I barely reacted. I felt her move away. Janice kept brushing my face for a while longer, the touches growing more fleeting.

  Molly finally spoke for the first time since saying "No" to the photographs. "She has more studying tonight."

  Janice's brush tickled the end of my nose. I wrinkled my nose at her. She did it again, and I wrinkled again. When she did it a third time I opened my eyes to look at her, wondering what she wanted. She just looked into my eyes for a moment, smiling softly at me. Then she nodded once and got up off my knees. She went to her dresser and put the brush
es away.

  "I suppose we should cut that tape off her," she said. "I have a pair of scissors somewhere."

  "No," said Molly. "I'll do it back in our room. Just plunk her into a rolling chair and I'll wheel her home."

  Janice grinned at her. "Okay," she agreed.

  Molly got up off the floor and walked over to me. Janice joined her, and the two of them reached down and between the two of them, helped me to my feet. Kelly grabbed one of their chairs and slid it behind me, and they slipped me into it.

  I started complaining through the gag. Our room was down the hall from Janice and Kelly's, and someone might see me as Molly wheeled me down the hallway.

  "Don't worry," Kelly said. "I'll make sure the coast is clear."

  So that's what she did. She stepped out of the room, then called, "All clear" after a moment. Janice held the door and Molly rolled me backwards out of the room. Kelly went in front of her and Janice watched our back, but no one appeared in the hallway while I was being toted to my own room. Molly opened the door, pulled me inside, then closed and locked the door. She rolled me to the middle of the room then spun me around.

  She fished in her desk for a moment, finally brandishing a pair of scissors. She walked over in front of me, then knelt down so we were at the same eye level.

  "Before I cut you loose, I want to say something."

  I nodded.

  "I like Janice and Kelly," she said. "They're good people."

  I nodded, agreeing with her.

  "If they had tried to hurt you or publicly embarrass you, I would have stopped them."

  I knew she would have, and I nodded again.

  "And I like you." She said. "You're smart, you're funny, and you're really easy to be around. I can't imagine anyone I'd rather have as a roommate or friend."

  No one had ever said something like that to me before.

  "I know you're still trying to figure out what sort of person you are."

  If only she knew.

  "And if you want to talk to me about any of it, I'm a good listener." She paused. "But. While you're figuring out who you are, you better stay smart, funny, easy to be around, and a great friend."

  I tried to laugh through the gag then noticed her serious expression as she looked at me. I grew quiet, then nodded just once.

  "Also," she added. "I want you to remember something. I like boys. Okay?"

  She liked boys? Okay, of course she liked boys. I just looked at her, not sure what she was trying to tell me. I shrugged as best I could.

  "Just remember that, okay? I like boys."

  I cocked my head. She must mean something else. That was too obvious. But eventually I just nodded.

  She didn't say anything else but just bent to the task of freeing me from all the tape. She worked carefully, cutting the tape first along the front of one arm, then the front of the other. She helped me stand up and steadied me, then cut the tape along the back of each arm. Then she did the same thing on the tape binding my legs, cutting first the front then the back. While she did that, I started untying the gag. I dropped the bathrobe belt on the floor then spit out Janice's panties. They were gross! All wet from my saliva. I held them gingerly by two fingers before dropping them on the floor, too.

  Molly and I then began pulling the tape off my clothes. I wasn't sure if the blouse was ruined. We gathered the used tape and threw it in a trashcan.

  "What are you going to do with those?" she asked, gesturing to the bathrobe pelt and panties.

  "Return them, I guess," I said. "I suppose I should wash them first."

  And so with that, I gathered my own laundry and stuffed Janice's things in with it. While I set off to the laundry room, Molly returned their chair.

  Neither of us talked about it again. But that night, as I was trying to go to sleep, I kept seeing Janice in front of me, her eyes flashing at me as she taped my arms to my sides. I kept feeling Kelly's arms around me.

  I understood how Steven must have felt the weekend before and mentally forgave him for going overboard.

  I tried to imagine letting Steven tape me up the way Janice had, but my thoughts just kept returning to Janice and Kelly and nail polish and cosmetic brushes.

  I wondered why Molly was so adamant I understood she liked boys.

  I thought of Janice and Kelly and wondered if they'd do that to me again.

  It all clicked, eventually. I was too close to see it. Molly thought I was gay! But I dated boys. I liked boys, too.

  I kept going around in circles on it. Then I started wondering what Shane had been so unhappy about that she was going to let a train run her over.

  Was Shane gay? Was that it?

  I thought about Steven and the other guys I knew. I thought about kissing them, about being with them. And it sounded fun, but it didn't get my heart racing.

  I thought about Janice and Kelly. I thought about how my heart had raced. I thought about how good it felt just to let Kelly hold me, how warm her breath felt on my neck and in my ear. I thought about, well, all of it.

  Oh my god. I was gay.

  Okay, this wasn't so bad. So I liked girls. The world is filled with girls. I could deal with this. I could enjoy this, even.

  So why had Shane let the train run her over?

  I thought about my parents. I thought about my mom teaching me about little black dresses. I thought about her buying me two conservative dresses to show Dad.

  Oh my god. My dad was going to kill me when he found out.

  Chapter 6: Turmoil

  October had turned into November, and the end of the term was approaching. My self-revelations served as a distraction from my studies, but I knuckled down and kept to my schedule. I turned down all date requests, begging off due to my study workload, but the reality was I no longer knew what I wanted.

  Sunday evening in Janice and Kelly's room was a little strained for me the following week, but no one said anything. If I was acting oddly, no one appeared to notice. By the following week, things were back to normal, although every time I look at either Janice or Kelly, I wondered what it would be like if one of them kissed me.

  The term ended. I was pleased with my grades. By Thanksgiving, all the students at Knightly packed our bags and headed home. We wouldn't see each other again until the new year. My parents picked me up on Wednesday afternoon, the day before Thanksgiving.

  It was great to see everyone. Even though it was so close, I hadn't gone home at all during the term. I had a great Thanksgiving with my family. I was conflicted internally but pushed the conflicts aside. When anyone asked me, "Did you meet any guys," I responded, "Yes, I went on dates with several nice guys, but I'm there to study, so I kept things very casual with all of them."

  December was a busy month. Christmas was coming, of course, so there were all the expected preparations for that. Plus I had purchased my textbooks for second term classes and brought them home; I had an entire month to get ahead of my studies.

  And of course, Matt and I went back to our workout routine. He talked to me about the difference between body building and toning. "Are you planning on becoming one of those muscle-bound women, Shane?" When I shook my head, he then said, "Well, time to make some changes, because you're looking pretty good." It felt really weird to have my little brother say that, but it was nice to know I'd accomplished my goals and now could switch to what Matt called a toning maintenance plan.

  But through all this, I couldn't stop thinking about what I should do. I wanted to talk to Mom, but I just couldn't. She might be okay with it, I wasn't sure. Dad would disown me. This was too big a secret to ask her to keep.

  To some extent, I was still in denial. I kept giving myself little gay tests. I'd think about being with some hot guy. Then I'd think about being with a girl. And the girl won, every time.

  But that wasn't all. I thought about what I wanted to do with the girl. And I couldn't stop thinking about Janice taping me up. I couldn't stop thinking about being helpless while she tickled me. I couldn
't stop wondering about what she might do to me if she and I were in a relationship.

  Oh, I wasn't going to throw myself at Janice. She and Kelly had a great relationship, and I didn't think they were looking to make it a threesome. Taping me up had just been a little harmless fun, not an invitation.

  I spent much of December flip-flopping between acceptance and denial. What if this was just a phase? What if I just hadn't met the right guy? Maybe I just had a bad attitude. I bought several romance novels and forced myself to read them. The stories were okay, but the sex scenes were boring. I did what I imagine every woman does when she reads those: I imagined myself as the heroine. And when I thought about what the hero does to the heroine, I felt... nothing. But then I read one where the hero is an anti-hero and kidnaps the heroine. He was, of course, a terrible cad, but a stunningly attractive cad, and of course, the heroine ends up falling completely in love with him. I thought about being her and all I could think about was slipping a knife between his ribs. But then I found myself thinking of the kidnapper as a woman, kidnapping me, and everything was different.

  Not only was I gay, but I seemed to be kinky as well. How could I be gay and kinky besides? I was still a virgin, for crying out loud.

  I needed to talk to someone, but I was going to have to wait until school resumed in January.

  * * *

  And so Christmas came, and Christmas went. Then the new year arrived, and with it, all the students at Knightly returned to our dorms.

  * * *

  Molly and I squealed and hugged when we saw each other. We had talked over break, but it wasn't like being in the same room with each other.

  Classes started, and with classes I also started getting asked out again. I said "no" a few times, but then a particularly cute guy asked me. Jon was small for a guy, almost elfin appearance, and really sweet. I said yes.

  When I told Molly about it, she gave me an odd look but only said, "Have a nice time."

  Jon took me to a movie in town. We sat next to each other, and when he put his hand on my knee, I let him. After the movie we went back to his room, found that his roommate wasn't home, and I let him pull me to his bed.