Rewind Page 3

  Knightly’s main academic buildings and student center are laid out in a rough horseshoe shape around a central park. A stately chapel was placed at the open end of the horseshoe. Outlying from the academic buildings were the student dormitories. Most of the dorms were nestled very closely to the main campus, but growth over the years had led to one dorm, Franklin, being located a couple of minutes' walk further away, down a hill from the main campus and through a small grove of trees. Franklin was connected to the rest of the campus with a paved (and at night, well-lit) path. This would be my residence for my freshman year.

  We drove around (which took longer than it would take to walk) and parked at the dorm to unload. Mom and I each carried one small load to my fourth floor room with Matt and Dad carrying the rest. With my things piled possessively on one of the two beds, Mom orchestrated a brief tour of my room and the surrounding floor, finding the kitchen and bathrooms and pointing out where a few other early arriving students had placed note boards on their doors for people to leave notes when they weren’t at home. We all returned to my room and she turned to Dad.

  “Gordon, it’s going to be a mess in that small parking lot as more students arrive and want to unload. Do you think you should move the car and walk back?”

  “That’s very thoughtful, Beth,” my father agreed. “You’ll be okay here?”

  “Of course,” my mother replied. “And I saw a Target on the way into town. Do you think you could run out and see if they have anything that would serve as a note board for Shane’s door? I didn’t think of one while we were getting everything else for her.”

  From the look he gave Mom, I think Dad knew she was getting rid of him for a good twenty minutes, but he grinned knowingly at her and said he’d do his best to find one. Mom walked him to the stairs herself, returning a minute or two later. In the meantime, Matt and I started putting some of my stuff away, claiming the left side of what was a symmetrical room.

  “Okay,” my mom said in a conspiratorial fashion when she returned. “Let’s get all the clothes put away before your father gets back.” She found the garment bag that held my dresses and skirts and headed to the closet. Matt ignored her but kindly moved suitcases around for me and offered to set up my small boom box on my desk.

  One of the suitcases was locked, which I found strange. It didn’t take long to put everything else away. I would make adjustments for weeks, but everything was ship shape and the bed made in just a few minutes. I pointed to the locked suitcase. “I didn’t pack that one,” I said to Mom. “Did we bring it along by mistake?”

  Mom smiled and held up a key, then opened the suitcase. Inside were two gym bags. One was brand new and purple. The other was Matt’s old bag. “Hey! What’s that doing here?” he asked.

  “Do you two think I’m stupid?” she asked us sternly. Then she grinned. “I assume you intend to maintain your exercise regiment while you’re here, Shane, but I want Matt to go with you the first time to help out.” She pulled a map out of the information packet. “I already found out the weight room is in Andrews Athletic center, which is…” her finger offered over the map. “Right here.” She flipped the map over. “You have time for an hour’s workout, return here to clean up, then meet your father and I at a restaurant located at the corner of 4th and Dodge, right here. Make sure you’re there at noon. Shane, everything in here should fit.” She shoved Matt’s bag in his arms and my new purple one into mine. “Now git or you might encounter your father on your way out.”

  Matt and I looked at each other and ran for the door.

  * * *

  My folks treated me to one last meal with them before I wouldn’t likely see them for several months. Knightly wasn’t all that far from home, but I was there to study and make connections; coming home every weekend wouldn’t satisfy those two goals. The four of us then walked to where Father had parked the car.

  Dad hugged me first. There were tears in his eyes, but neither of us acknowledged them. He handed me an envelope. “There’s $500 in here,” he said. “It’s for emergencies.” He looked at me sternly. “Real emergencies. Late night pizza is not an emergency.” Then he hugged me and whispered in my ear, “I’m so proud of you, Shane. I know you’ll study hard and be a good girl.”

  He didn’t mention going to church. Maybe that was part of the “good girl” thing.

  Then it was Mom’s turn. “Thank you,” I told her when she hugged me. I left it to her to figure out what I meant.

  “I’m slipping an envelope into your back pocket,” she told me. “It’s most definitely not for emergencies.”

  I hugged her tighter.

  When she finally let me go, she had tears in her eyes. I did too. Then I turned to Matt and surprised him by pulling him into a tight hug, too. Matt and I get along as well as any brother and sister do, but this was probably the first time I had hugged him. He stood there like a surprised rag doll for a moment before wrapping his arms around me in return. I gave him an extra strong squeeze before letting him go, just so he knew what it was for, but he stayed gentle with me. “When you’re ready for dating advice from your big sister, you have my number,” I told him quietly.

  Mom and Dad each gave me another quick hug before Dad ushered everyone into the car. I watched them drive away, sad for a moment, but happy and excited at the same time.

  I was at college! And I had an entire campus to explore and a roommate to meet.

  * * *

  I took my time returning to my dorm, soaking up the flavor of the campus. It felt so strange. Everything was so familiar but so alien at the same time. I remembered another first day on campus, but I couldn't have told you which campus it had been. And Shane had visited Knightly the previous autumn prior to making her final choice where she wanted to apply first. It was so disconcerting having Shane's memories so clear and my own so fuzzy.

  My freshman year roommate was a girl from California named Molly Baird. We had emailed back and forth as soon as Knightly had sent us information about each other. Molly was athletic and especially liked running and tennis. She had long, blonde hair and listened to retro music. Very early in our communications she'd indicated she wasn't going to a private school to be a party animal and she hoped I'd respect her desire to study.

  We were to get along fabulously. She became my first and best friend at college, a friendship that has lasted to this day.

  I arrived back at my dorm in time to see a girl dragging a heavy suitcase into the room. I caught a glimpse of disheveled hair and a determined expression, then hair and expression disappeared into the room, dragging the suitcase behind them. I followed them into the room.

  I watched as the girl saw first my legs over the top of her suitcase, then she stood up and saw the rest of me.

  "Molly?"

  "Shane?"

  We stared at each other for a moment. I'm not sure which of us started it first, but we began squealing at each other like only two teenage girls can.

  We hugged, squealed some more, hugged again, and bounced around for a few minutes before calming down. Finally I gestured to the bed and desk I'd claimed.

  "I took the left, but if you had your heart set on it, we can switch."

  "No, I'm fine knowing I'll always be in the right," she replied without missing a beat.

  I groaned theatrically at her pun. She smiled, appearing pleased that I'd offered the customary response to a pun. She bent down to struggle with her suitcase, but I took pity on her, bent down, then picked it up and tossed it on her bed for her.

  "Wow!" she said. "You're pretty strong for someone so small."

  I didn't say anything but realized I wouldn't have been able to do that just a couple of months ago.

  I helped her unpack, oohing over some of her clothes. I showed her some of mine, and she was especially impressed with the purple dress mom had bought for me. She held it up to herself for a moment and sighed. "I don't think I can borrow it," she said sadly for a moment.

  We chattered away like
old friends until late in the afternoon, when Molly's stomach let itself be known. She blushed before asking, "Where do we go to eat? And what are you wearing for the dance tonight?"

  We each grabbed our orientation packets and started digging through the agenda for the week. The dance tonight was a rock band, but there was a square dance on Friday. I decided to save the purple for the square dance but went to my closet and pulled out the little black dress.

  "Wow!" said Molly. "You didn't come to look like a wallflower!"

  I put the LBD away and pulled out one of the conservative dresses Mom had us buy to show Dad. "I could wear this."

  Molly cocked her head, considering. "Definitely better. I'll have far more dance partners if you wear that one."

  "Why?"

  Molly walked to her closet and pulled out her own black dress. "Because I'll be wearing this, and if the guys have a choice between me in this dress and..." she gestured at me. "Little Miss Muffet there, I think they'll pick me."

  I offered a mock scowl at her before laughing.

  We put the dresses away and took off for the dining hall.

  * * *

  The Wednesday dance was fun. Neither Molly nor I lacked for dance partners, but we danced together a few times, too. We had just finished dancing to a rather raucous song when the lead singer said, "It's time to slow it down a little." The band launched into a slow ballad.

  I looked at Molly. She looked at me. I'm not sure which of us felt more awkward.

  "I need a Coke," she finally said.

  * * *

  Thursday we spent in placement exams and attending a variety of orientation functions designed to make us fully acquainted with the school.

  Friday we registered for classes. I'd spent the last several weeks trying to decide what I was going to do. Shane had already made her decisions in the spring, but I realized something: I wasn't remotely interested in a science major. I was going to get a business degree.

  But I was also torn. My true love was writing, and it turns out it had been Shane's, too. Ironically, we both wrote our first story when we were each seven. I remember in my old life writing stories, but I could no longer have told you what any of them had been about or what became of them. Shane also wrote stories and enjoyed the creative writing classes she'd taken in high school.

  But who makes a living as a writer? No, definitely, business was the right choice.

  Wasn't it?

  In the end, I was able to delay any final decisions. Knightly is a liberal arts college. We needed a certain amount of credits spread across a variety of topics. I ended up registering for English literature, math and physics. Molly and I would be in math and physics together, but she was taking a different class to satisfy the writing requirement.

  I bought my books right away on Friday and had time to skim the first couple of chapters of each of them prior to dinner. Then it was off to the square dance, which seems kind of corny. But it was fun.

  My purple dress was perfect.

  * * *

  I really enjoyed college. Those first few weeks were so exciting. Shane had good study habits, but I brought over some professional skills from my prior life. One of the tricks I had learned was simple. If I really needed to learn some material, I would dictate it into a tape recorder and play it in my car. Funny, the things I was able to remember. For college, I simply modernized the method and used my iPod.

  The math was hard for that. Reading formulae is not like seeing it on the page. But the rest of the material worked much better. When I wasn't actually studying, I was still studying. I even went to bed with the ear buds in. By staying ahead, I was able to stay ahead.

  This isn't some sort of magic, of course. I still had to work, harder than I've ever worked before. But it was worth it. Knightly recommends 3 hours of study per class. Not counting time spent listening to my recordings, I aimed to spend 4 hours. I was here to learn.

  Of course, part of going away to college is to have a new, adult social life. And Knightly made sure we had ample opportunity to develop those all-important friendships. Molly, of course, was the main cornerstone of my social life that first term of college, but I made several friends -- male and female -- on my dorm floor. And of course there were dances, classes, and other events around campus.

  My dad had done a good job dampening dating for me when I lived at home. But away at school, I started to meet boys.

  I wasn't really sure what I was supposed to do with them, but it struck me they might be fun to play with.

  Chapter 4: In which Shane meets a boy

  In and amongst the studying, I still managed to find time to exercise every day. I lifted weights 3 days a week and went running or bike riding the other days. I joined the pickup games of Ultimate Frisbee from time to time, but I wasn't very good, so I only played when folks weren't being too hard-core about it.

  There weren't a lot of girls lifting weights in the gym, so you can imagine I stood out amongst the guys there. I wasn't used to the attention, so I found myself blushing a lot. I got teased for it, but it was all good-natured.

  I got asked out a few times, too.

  I didn't handle it very well the first time. I was in the gym, and this boy named Jason was chatting with me while we were spotting for each other. Jason was tall and took working out very seriously. Whenever I stood next to him, it was like standing next to a mountain. He kept his hands to himself, but once when I tripped, he reached out and grabbed me before I could fall, and his arms were like steel. I didn't know what to make of any of it.

  One day in the gym, it was my turn on the bench and I was mid-lift when Jason asked me, "So, would you like to go to a movie with me Friday?"

  I almost dropped the bar. It was a good thing Jason was actually paying attention, as he was able to replace the bar for me. I sat up, shocked, looked at my watch, then fled, claiming I'd promised to meet Molly.

  I hadn't given him an answer.

  I told Molly about it at dinner. I was kicking myself by then. Jason seemed okay. I didn't think I was interested in him, but he deserved to be treated better than I had.

  "You're not used to being asked out?" Molly asked? I just shook my head. "Do you want to know what my mother taught me?" I nodded.

  "Okay. This has been a good rule for me so far." She paused to take a drink of her milk. "If a guy asks me out, and he seems like a nice guy, and I don't think I have to worry he's going to be a jerk, I say yes. Even if I'm not that interested at first."

  "Why?" I asked. "That seems... I dunno. Loose."

  Molly laughed. "I'm not sleeping with them. It's just a date. And why? Because everyone deserves a chance. I won't go out with someone I think is a jerk or who seems a little slimy. And I take precautions for my own safety. But if it fits my schedule, and he seems okay, I say yes. I figure I'll have a nice time."

  I cocked my head, thinking about it. "But what if you're not, you know, attracted to him?"

  She looked at me square in the face. "Okay, think about someone you like, someone you'd like to go out with." She gave me a moment to think about it. "Now, think about going up to him and asking him out?"

  "No way!" I said immediately. "I'd be terrified."

  "Do you think it's any easier for the guys?"

  She let me think about it for a while.

  "So," she continued. "If the guy goes through what it takes to ask me out, I say yes. If I like him, I might let him hold my hand or maybe touch my arm, but more than that and he has to keep his hands to himself. And by the end of the date, I decide if I want to go out with him again. If I do, I say something like, I had a really nice time tonight, maybe we can do it again. If I want to just keep it to friends, I say, I had a nice time, but I think we'd be better friends than in a relationship. Either way, I make sure I'm clear."

  "Your mom taught you this?"

  Molly nodded. "And she taught me how to scream, too, if a guy ever forgets that No means No. And how to kick and scratch."

  I laughed. "O
kay. So what do I do about Jason?"

  * * *

  After dinner, I walked over to Jason's dorm. He wasn't in, so I left a note on the bulletin board attached to his door. "I'm sorry. If you're still asking, I'd love to." I left my cell phone number.

  We had a nice time that Friday. None of the students at Knightly had cars. It was a small college town and everything we needed to do was in walking distance. Jason met me at my dorm and we walked into town to hit the pizza joint with a movie afterwards. He acted the gentleman, which I appreciated, but when we returned to my dorm, I offered him a handshake.

  "I had a nice time, Jason. You're a good guy. But I think I want to stick to work out buddies."

  His smile faltered for a moment, but then he nodded and shook my hand. "I had a nice time, too, Shane," he said. "Thanks for going out with me."

  Then he turned around and walked away, but I heard him say over his shoulder. "See you at the gym."

  * * *

  School quickly became a set of habits. Classes Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I did whatever dictation I needed to do after classes or in the evenings. Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday were all study days. Friday and Saturday nights were activity nights. Dates, dances, that sort of thing. Sunday evenings my dorm floor met in the lounge for about 20 minutes, then several of the girls would gather for a couple of hours in one room or another.

  My dorm floor was mixed genders and classes. We had both boys and girls ranging from freshmen through seniors.

  There were eight or nine girls who got together after the group meetings each week. Sometimes all of us were there, but often it was only four or five of us. The Sunday after my date with Jason, there were six of us meeting in Janice and Kelly's room. Janice and Kelly were seniors and were in a relationship. When I first met them, I was shocked at how openly comfortable they were with each other. I was expecting to be offended by their behavior. But you know? They were both really cool. Kelly always made cookies for the floor meetings, and Janice was the go-to girl when you needed help with your math. Kelly wanted to be an English teacher after graduation. Janice was a chemistry major.